A Chronic Illness Gift Guide Based On Love Language

Gifts are extra-special if you gear them towards your friend or loved one’s love language. I’ve compiled ideas to help you do just that in this chronic illness gift guide! 

Those of us with all the complexities and uncertainties of chronic illness can often feel misunderstood and even invisible, so it’s especially meaningful when you take the time to tailor a gift for us.

As I mentioned in my post about easy, low-cost gift ideas, picking a gift based on someone’s love language helps them to feel seen and understood.

In case you’re unfamiliar with the book The Five Love Languages (which I highly recommend!), it breaks down the ways people give and receive love into these categories: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.

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Giving Based on Love Languages

I’m a Words of Affirmation girl to the core. (Probably not surprising considering my love for words.) For second place, I tie for Receiving Gifts and Quality Time. I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on those three love languages, but when I first took the quiz, I had to ask friends and family about what they considered a good gift for the other two.

How to shop for someone whose love language is physical touch had me quite stumped! It was eye opening to talk to others about what a gift for their love languages meant. For this post, I’ve drawn from those conversations.

As someone with multiple chronic illnesses, I especially appreciate gifts that help me prioritize self care or that help me take my mind off my health problems. So, things that help me keep warm and comfortable are great, as are books that let me read to escape. I also appreciate easy craft projects that let me be creative without using a lot of my limited energy. 

Whenever gifting to someone with chronic health conditions, please be sure to remember their sensitivities and allergies. Many of us deal with food allergies and reactions to any kinds of scents and smells.

Below, I’ve tried to collect a unique blend of gifts that are at various price points, with some DIY options. I hope they inspire you!

 

Gift Ideas Based on Words of Affirmation

A Way to Collect Encouraging Words

My friend recently gifted me this adorable book that folds out into a rainbow once it’s full! I just discovered there is also another option shaped like a sunshine.

For a classic style, check out this brand for journals that look like old fashioned leather or ornate antique books.

Make An Advent Calendar of Encouragement

A friend of mine made me this a few years ago to brighten the winter months, which she knows are particularly hard on my health. She numbered mini notecards with each day of the month and wrote encouragement on the back of each card: things she loved about me, Bible verses, inspiring quotes, even jokes from favorite comedians. She tucked them into a box so I could open it each day and read that day’s notecard. This remains one of the most thoughtful gifts I’ve ever received!

Books

This bookworm loves collecting words of wisdom and encouragement all over her (numerous) bookshelves. Give the gift of encouraging words through a favorite book, an Amazon gift card, a subscription to Audible, or a subscription to Kindle Unlimited.

If you gift a subscription or gift card, you can personalize the gift by including a list of books you would recommend.

 

Whatever you gift someone whose love language is words of affirmation, be sure to include a card. Just a few words reminding them what you admire or love about them will make their day.

 

Acts of Service as Gifts

Cook Them Something

A friend received the coolest gift at baby shower: a cookbook, along with a note saying they would make her three meals from recipes in the book. My friend got to choose which recipes made up the meals, and when they would be delivered.

Whether or not you include a cookbook, be sure you know if your friend has food allergies or is avoiding any foods. It would be best to ask them if this is a good option for them. If they’re not comfortable (totally understandable considering reactions they could have) ask if they would prefer you help in another way.

You and your friend could also make a group Pinterest board to collect recipes.

Let Them Pick

Ask them what they could use a hand with, and offer your time and expertise. Maybe they need someone to chauffeur, paint a wall, babysit, help put up Christmas decorations, or tackle the laundry piling up.

Easy Access To Shopping

A gift of Amazon Prime makes it super easy to get what you need, without going to the store. And it’s quick, say, if someone realizes she has run out of an important supplement. (Not that I’m speaking from personal experience or anything…) Plus, you get access to prime video, which is wonderful for those of us who have to spend a lot of time curled up on a couch.

If Prime isn’t a great fit for your friend, consider other services that you could purchase to help them, or offer your expertise to lend them a hand.

 

For this category, I think it’s especially important to ask your friend what would be helpful for them. What would be most helpful for your friend will depend on their personality, preferences, and illness. Let your friend know that it doesn’t have to be a “traditional” gift, but that you’re willing to help out with a project, plan a get-together, etc.

Sharing and Receiving Gifts

Apple Gift Card

I love music, but forget to invest in music that helps brighten my mood. When someone gives me an Apple gift card, it gives me permission to find new songs that speaks to me and makes me happy. This is a great for any music lover, as well as anyone looking for ambient music to better relax.

Bouquet Alternatives

Because of pollen allergies, a big bouquet probably won’t be the best choice for your chronically ill friend. But there are some fun alternatives. My mom once bought me a little bouquet of balloons (the kind that are normally tucked in a vase with flowers) and they brightened my room for well over a year.

Another friend bought me a little glass cloche with a single rose bud inside, because she knows how much I love Beauty and the Beast. Since the live rose was encased in glass, no fragrance escaped and made me sneeze. I absolutely love flowers, so this was a wonderful way for me to enjoy one in the house. I use the cloche anytime I receive flowers now.

Craft Kits

Having all the supplies in one package makes it so much easier for someone chronically ill to enjoy being creative. (No hunting down where craft supplies are hiding!) These cute beginning embroidery kits will allow your friend to get DIYing. I was gifted an adorable hedgehog kit and I plan to use it to learn embroidery, something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time.

Color books

Here are some of my favorites (Beauty and the Beast, Pride & Prejudice, Secret Paris), along with my favorite colored pencils. Again, gifting colored pencils, even if your friend might have some stashed somewhere, means they can start enjoying your gift without having to track down supplies first.

 

If your friend’s health issues don’t impact fine motor skills, you may want to wrap the gift in a unique way so they can further enjoy the experience of opening a gift. One of my cousins once gifted me a pair of earrings when I was in my early teens—I had to open 10 nested boxes to find them! It was hilarious and great memory to this day.

 

Gifting Quality Time

Catch Up Over Coffee or Dinner

If you know where your friend can eat (it’s tricky with allergies and health issues!), offer to take them to a favorite place. Pick up the tab so your friend can focus on enjoying the conversation. You could give them a gift card to the location you plan to go, like Starbucks or a favorite restaurant, and let them know they can pick the day to meet up. (Offering them a ride if they need it would be extra-special!)

Throw A Get Together

Gather some close friends together for a themed party (movie night, spa night, tea). Keep things as low key as possible to help your friend conserve energy. Ask your friend if they would like to be involved in planning, and choosing the date and time around when they feel best. If your friend is a shutterbug like me, be sure to snap a few photos so they can have them as souvenirs to treasure.

A Fun Board Game

Gift your friend a game that lends itself to playing with a group. Lately I prefer easy games so I can enjoy them without using up all my brain power. Quieter games are best for anyone with headaches, migraines or sensitivity to stimuli (no dice or noisy elements are best). Some of my current favorites are King’s in the Corner (kind of like solitaire for a group, and easy and fun to play), The Logo Game (a fun pop culture game based on your knowledge of brands. We have the first edition.), and Man Bites Dog (great for anyone who loves words—you use the cards to create ridiculous newspaper headlines.)

I also like the shorter, card game version of popular games: Scrabble Slam, Yahtzee Hands Down, and Uno Dare. They’re easy to learn and offer a fun twist on the classics. Monopoly Deal was the only one we felt was a little harder to get the hang of the new rules, but it’s fun after a round or two of practice.

Your friend not into board games? Gift something else that would lend itself well to a group activity.

 

Quality time can be especially tricky when you have health issues because of unexpected flare ups. If your friend has to cancel, be understanding. They’re not cancelling because they want to! Offering to catch up an alternate way (phone, skype) can mean a lot, as will your offer to reschedule when they feel up to it.

 

Gift Ideas Based on Physical Touch

Massage Gift Certificate

Find out where (and if!) your friend gets massages, and give them the gift of relaxation. Do make sure this is a good option for your friend—some people with health issues cannot get massage, or have to see a specific massage therapist.

If your friend doesn’t get massages, consider other gift certificates that will help them feel their best. Maybe for their favorite hair salon or clothing store.

Something To Keep Warm

Give a gift that is warm, like a hug from you even when you’re not there! A lot of us with chronic illness have trouble with temperature regulation. A blanket is a great option. Two of my friends made me a fleece tie blanket right after my thyroidectomy, and I use it almost every day. Another friend gave me this amazing mermaid blanket that I absolutely love! (It comes in different colors too!) Other things to consider are fuzzy socks, pretty scarves (I have a lot similar to this), etc.

Alternately, if you live somewhere warm, gift them something to help keep a cool, comfortable temperature. 

You may also want to ask them if they want to add any of my top favorite health care products to their wish list.

Be sure that whatever you gift them, offer them a big (gentle!) hug too.

 

If you’re still unsure what to give, the best thing to do is ask!

If you’re worried about the gift not being a surprise, ask your friend for 3-4 options that would help them or brighten their day, and then let them know you’re going to keep which one you choose a surprise. You’ll give them something they love, and still surprise them. Best of both worlds!

I hope this guide takes some of the guesswork out of finding a gift. And no matter what you give, remember that your love and support is the best gift of all!

What ideas from this chronic illness gift guide do you like best?
What other suggestions would you add to this list? (Be sure to mention your love language too!)

 

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