We’re getting real on the blog today.

I want talk about struggling with feelings of sadness around Christmas, something that can impact anyone, not only those of us with chronic illness.

In a way, this feels a bit like a taboo subject. I kind of worry about admitting to this struggle out of fear that people will think I’m not grateful for all Christmas represents (it is Jesus’ birthday after all!) or that my sadness means I somehow dislike Christmas (which certainly is not the case!)

I’ve struggled over the past several holiday seasons, and a lot of it has had to do with getting used to my limitations due to chronic illness. Christmas is one of my favorite holidays, so in addition to struggling with not feeling happy, I’m also struggling with not feeling quite like myself. My love for Christmas is a part of who I am, so this sadness is yet another way my chronic illnesses impact my identity.

And I think as Christians we can sometimes feel pressure to feel or act happy 24/7, so feeling sad this time of year adds another layer of complexity—I feel guilty about it!