Practicing Gratitude When You Don’t Feel It

As promised, I’m following up on my previous blog post about starting a thankfulness journal. I recently had a revelation about my thankfulness journal that I hope will help you if you find yourself, as I have, struggling with gratitude.

At first I didn’t think I really needed a follow up post after finishing my experiment in journaling. Sure, I said I would in that initial post, but I felt resistant when I tried to start writing. Where was this coming from?

I realized I was having trouble with gratitude in one particular area: my health. (Surprise, surprise!) When I’ve gotten a good piece of health news lately, I haven’t felt anything. Shouldn’t I feel grateful? Isn’t that the correct Christian attitude? I found myself feeling guilty that gratitude wasn’t my first reaction, so I started doing some soul-searching.

What I realized is this: I’ve been feeling too overwhelmed with my health for one good piece of news to impact me. One good piece of news doesn’t outweigh the fact that I still feel terrible, and that I’m no closer to answers or cures that would make me feel better.

Here’s a metaphor that might explain it better. I’ll use gardening since it’s spring. And gardening is on my mind lately because this adorable, mischievous, dratted little bunny is eating up the strawberry plants in the garden. Strawberries are my favorite, so I’m super annoyed at this bunny!

Now imagine if you had a whole garden planted and it was destroyed by animals, say a herd of deer. Imagine walking into the garden and seeing plants ripped up, bushes uprooted and broken in half and everything else eaten. In that initial moment, if someone were to point out that one tomato plant was uprooted but otherwise undamaged, your first reaction probably wouldn’t be gratitude about that tomato plant. You would probably be focused on the fact that your whole garden is destroyed and possibly irreplaceable. You would probably be thinking about all the work,  time, and money that would need to go into getting that garden repaired. Probably only later would it sink in that at least one tomato plant survived.

That’s what one good piece of health news feels like when you have chronic illness: it’s like the one tomato plant that might survive. Sure, you don’t have this particular disease we were investigating, but we’re no closer to fixing you. It takes awhile for one bit of good news to sink in while I’m still reeling from the wreckage of my health and the aftermath.

So, what to do with this numbness when it comes to gratitude? I confessed it to God. And I get the feeling God understands. He knows intimately all the things overwhelming me. He’s understanding and compassionate.

And then, this is what I’ve found is key, I give thanks anyway.

The Bible compares our journey of faith to running a race with our eyes on the prize (1 Corinthians 9:24). Athletes don’t just train only when they feel like it. I think its the same principle with gratitude—we’re to exercise gratitude diligently, not letting our thankfulness muscles atrophy, as it were.

We know from the Bible that gratitude is God’s will for us: “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

The Bible is also full of calls to give thanks to God because of who He is. Not because of how we feel. God’s goodness and love is no less real just because we feel overwhelmed by circumstances. “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endures forever.” (Psalm 136:1) God, by His very nature, gives us ample reason to express thanks.

So, I let God know I’m sorry I don’t feel very grateful, but I want to thank Him. I ask for His help cultivating a grateful heart. The result? I feel peace to let go of guilt over what I feel or don’t feel.

“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (Colossians 3:15-17 NIV)

And once I’ve had time to process, the feeling of gratitude usually comes later.

I want to keep in practice of giving thanks, especially since this has been a challenge lately.

Moving forward, I’m going to journal at least once a week on what I’m thankful for. Once a week feels more doable long term. I keep forgetting though, so I’ve plugged a reminder into my phone for Monday evenings. Seems like a good way to start the week!

And yes, I plan to stick with it even on weeks I don’t feel it.

Because even from the wreckage, God can bring gratitude into full bloom.

Have you started a thankfulness journal? Have you struggled with just not feeling grateful and found something that helps you get out of that rut? Feel free to share in the comments!